The Magic of New Beginnings

It’s been a crazy last few weeks for me, and I feel like I have been bottling feelings and emotions up inside so I need to let them out.

I haven’t blogged in a while, and deep down throughout the last few months i’ve known that I wanted to get back to it, but I didn’t know if it really mattered to anyone. However, on Mother’s Day, my cousin (shout out to Nannas) informed me that she missed reading my blogs, and that really struck me. I mean, besides my parents, my boyfriend, and maybe my friends, I didn’t know if anyone really read these. So now that it’s summer, and I have a little more free time, I want to get back to researching, writing, and expressing my very odd self through blogging again.

This blog is kind of gonna be a lot of catching up, and updating everyone on what’s going on in my crazy life. So here goes it:

I somehow managed to pull off my 18 credit hour semester with a 3.8, and I really don’t know how I made it through. Although there are times when I act like I don’t have high expectations for myself, I do set myself and my goals at high standards in my life. I have always said that i’m really not that smart, I just work really hard. I didn’t have the best grades in grade school and high school, but for some reason, college kind of turned that around. I started to realize that I gained a good amount of satisfaction from putting the work in and getting good grades. That may not be the cool thing, but i’ll be going into by junior year of college being on the Dean’s List every semester, and that feels damn good.

I was going to apologize for the rambling, but there is a reason this blog is called Rambles with Rachel. ANYWAY….

Thank goodness it is finally summer.This past semester was definitely my most stressful by far, so I am thankful it is over. I can’t wait to spend the summer with Ryan and all of our friends. Ryan and I are going to Myrtle Beach in the beginning of July, my girl friends and I have megatickets to all of the country concerts this summer at Riverbend, and I just have a feeling it’s going to be a great summer.

Speaking of.. we just went to our first concert out of the seven, and it completely down poured for hours. Here are some before and after pics:

I also have some really freaking excited news!! DRUM ROLL PLEASE

I got an internship/second job at the Center downtown as a Part Time Event Coordinator!! To say that I am beyond excited is an understatement. After lots of applying, interviewing, and rejection, this job came at the perfect time, and I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Event planning is exactly what I see myself doing after graduation so the experience I am going to get from this job is huge for my future career.

Say some prayers for me because juggling both jobs, and still maintaining a relationship and social life is going to be crazy for the next few months, but I cannot wait.

Other than that, these last few months have been crazy, stressful, and very busy.

My parents and I took the dogs to Red River Gorge for Spring Break…

Ryan and I went to Chicago to see the city and see my favorite duo, Dan + Shay…

AND my grandma got married to my new grandpa…

It may all sound cheesy, but honestly, through my anxiety struggles and the craziness of the last few months, I can honestly say I feel so much stronger from all of it. I’ve found ways to manage my anxiety, and I am trying to find more ways to make time for Ryan and my friends. I’m also definitely feeling small amounts of adulting coming into my life. Either way, I am excited for what is in store for me. God has a plan for my life, and everything happens for a reason.

I’ll leave with a quote from a speech I wrote in high school:

“My advice? Do what you want, and live the way you want. You only have one life, and God wants you to live it to the fullest. It’s your life. What are you going to do?”

Hopefully y’all will hear from me soon!

Thanks for reading my rambles!

This song has changed my life:

 

 

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This Semester is Kicking My Booty

So I am taking a break from this crazy few weeks i’ve had to write because I gotta let my feelings out.

Life in the last month or so has been a little hectic. Not to mention, extremely stressful. Although it really sucks, and I want to feel sorry for myself, I feel like I put it all on myself.

By a big complicated situation, I ended up being registered for 18 credit hours. With the option of dropping a class to go down to 15, I decided to push through the semester, and take all 18. What in the world was I thinking? I had to drop a few days at work, which has lessened my work load, but even when I am not working, I spend most nights doing homework. I go to school all day, come home, and immediately start doing homework. I usually don’t go to sleep until like 12 PM-1 AM. So then I wake up exhausted, and the cycle continues.

I also work 12 hour shifts on Saturday’s which has been kicking my butt. The money is definitely worth it, but I never get to see my friends. I. Am. Tired.

My family has been rocked pretty hard in the last month or so because of some scary news, but we will definitely get through. Family is everything to me, and my family will all rally together to fight. Prayer is everything right now.

My boyfriend Ryan and I never get to see each other because our work and school schedules are completely opposite. We see each other maybe once or twice a week. It is difficult, but our relationship has never been the easiest so I am not worried. We are going out tomorrow night so that will be a good break from everything. We aren’t even spending Valentine’s Day (today) together because we both have so much homework. We are also going to Chicago in March for a concert, and to see a little of the city so we are excited about that also.

Moral of the story, I cannot wait until Spring break. I think my parents and I are taking a long weekend trip over my Spring break so that’ll be a really nice break. School is seriously kicking my ass. I’ve had paper upon paper, and I know I have so many left. We aren’t even half way through the semester, and I can easily say this has been my most difficult semester yet. BUT I am going to get through it, and as always, I am going to strive for the Dean’s List. I cannot and will not break the streak now.

If anyone is interested, I have actually been keeping my sanity by listening to a few podcasts. I definitely recommend Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe or Whine Down with Jana Kramer. Cassadee Pope has also been a little music therapy as her new album, stages, is so freaking good, and I am obsessed.

Hope everyone is having a better semester than I am, and if you aren’t, i’ll pray for you.

Here are a few pictures from the last 2 months:

Sorry for the ranting and rambling. Y’all know me, I love to talk.

Thanks for reading my rambles!

Fav song right now: Take You Home by Cassadee Pope

My New Years Resolution: To Be Me

I’m not typically a person to make New Years Resolutions for many reasons. First of all, for the most part people never stick to their resolutions, and the “new year, new me” is bullshit. Second of all, most resolutions are completely unrealistic. For example, work out every day, eat completely healthy foods, read every day, blah blah blah. The list could go on and on. C’mon people, we all know we are way too busy for that crap. But this year I decided to make one. It’s not a typical resolution, and it kind of takes some explaining.

First let me explain this. I know y’all are probably thinking “What? Rachel’s blogging again?!? Why?? The semester is over!”. Yeah yeah I know I don’t have to blog for school anymore, but like I said in my last blog, it’s become an outlet for me. I like sharing my life and my stories.

Okay so back to my New Years Resolution. So this year I decided to make a New Years Resolution, and if anyone asks me i’m just gonna tell them it’s “To Be Me”. I have struggled all my life worrying about what others think, and what life and the future is going to bring. I was bullied in grade school for having braces and glasses and acne. I worry about what people will think when I wear a certain outfit, or if I embarrass myself doing something in public. I worry about the dumbest shit, and have always put my emotions and worries before myself. So this year I am going to focus on myself and my mental health.

To Be Me is to say what I want to say, to wear what I wanna wear, to feel how I want to feel, and to act how I want to act. I want to feel beautiful this year. Whether i’m wearing a ton of makeup or none at all. Beauty comes from both the inside and out, and I want to feel that way all of the time. I’m tired of covering up my feelings and emotions just for the purpose of not looking stupid or embarrassing myself, or even hurting someone’s feelings. I know that sounds really horrible, but it’s true. I am done trying to please everyone around me. I should be pleasing myself!

After adding this selfie to this post, I realized I wasn’t the biggest fan of it. But To Be Me is to accept myself, so i’m leaving it.

I have great friends, amazing family, and although I hate to admit it sometimes, I have a really awesome and blessed life. This past year I have had many ups and downs, but it really hasn’t been too bad. Sure I have my anxiety, and I get my days when I am depressed and angry at life, but it’s all gonna be fine. Just as long as I take care of myself this year.

Maybe I wanna buy that cute skirt I want. Hell yeah i’m gonna buy it. If someone asks me to work, and I don’t want to, i’m gonna tell them no. AND i’m not gonna feel bad about it. Craving that chinese food? Sure Rach go for it! I’m done worrying about work and money and my weight and my anxiety and school and LIFE! Honestly, if I am worrying and everyone is telling me not to, i’m not going to be ashamed of my worries. Being a worrywart is who I am, and that’s what this year is going to be about. This year is going to be about me. Sorry if that seems selfish.

Now if you really know me, you know that I sound like a hypocrite because this resolution is going to be extremely hard on me. My boyfriend Ryan is probably thinking “Just give it a few hours, and she will be back to bitching about something”. Which is probably true, but I really want to try. My mental and physical health seriously needs a damn break. I deserve to be a care-free, relaxed person. But seriously who the hell am I kidding? That’s the complete opposite of me.

My point is that I want to focus on being myself this year. Doing things for myself. Taking care of myself. Being the person I really want to be, and to push myself to not hold back on being true and honest. Not that I don’t already share a lot about myself, but maybe to push myself to be a little more vulnerable. TO BE ME is all that I need this year.

That is my New Years Resolution.

Thanks for reading my rambles!

p.s. I hope everyone had a splendid and blessed Christmas and New Years.

If you were wondering about mine: I drank entirely WAY too much on Christmas Eve, spent the night into Christmas morning throwing up, and feeling sick all Christmas day. Toss that in with a little family drama, and it makes for a great holiday season. But hey I wouldn’t change it for the world. I worked all day New Years Eve, and got to my friends house at right about 11 PM, and had a blast with some of my favorite people in the whole world.

 

 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Happy New Year!

Current fav song: The Feeling by The Chainsmokers ft. Kelsea Ballerini

A Semester Wrap Up

This has been a very interesting semester for me. I somehow ended up with a schedule that only included class on Tuesday and Thursday, and a night class Wednesday. I started serving at the restaurant where I work right about the time this semester started, and with this open school schedule, I was able to pick up a few mornings. All of this has been interesting and different for me because i’m used to going to school 5 days a week, but it all worked out. Not to say it wasn’t extremely difficult some weeks, but I really like this schedule. 

Now that it’s almost finals week, I decided to write my final blog for school as a wrap up of my semester. What I did, where I went, who I saw, everything. Emotions, whether they were good or bad. I want to kind of look back, and see how much I accomplished through my hardship and my happiness. So here goes it..

In August before school started back up me, my parents, my brother Alex, and his friend Wes, went to Chattanooga, TN to see Alex’s best friend Luke. At the time, Luke was playing in the minor leagues for the Chattanooga Lookouts, an affiliate of the Minnesota Twins. Not only did we get to see a lot of great baseball, but we also got to see Luke hit a huge homerun.

My parents and I also went out and explored Chattanooga. We saw Rock City, Lookout Mountain, the Songbirds Museum, and our campground was right next to the Raccoon Mountain Caverns. 

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By the way, you could see 7 states from where I was standing here.

This was probably one of the best trips i’ve been on. Never thought i’d like Chattanooga so much!

On September 1st, my parents adopted our newest dog Stewie a few days after I started the new semester!

On October 7th my friends and I went to a Bengal’s game, and tailgated with the rest of my family. We ended up, SOMEHOW, seeing a win against the Dolphin’s. Our luck has now changed. Either way, this was a really great time, and I can’t wait to go to another.

On October 20th, a bunch of my friends were home from school, and I had everyone over. The semester was getting a little difficult because the friends I have now are all from high school, and a majority of them moved away for college. Not getting to see them was really putting me down. Making me a little depressed and sad all of the time. So having them over that night was a huge blessing. 

Honestly, the rest of my semester has been nothing but working, hanging out with my dogs or my boyfriend, and school. It’s been super lame besides our trip 2 weeks ago to Norris Lake. You can read more about that in one of my latest blogs, Lind Family Thanksgiving 2018: Trip to Norris Lake.

This blog has been one of the only things I liked from this semester actually. Yes, I had to blog every week in order to pass this class, but the blog was a way out for me. I could blog about whatever I wanted, and it actually helped me to open up about my feelings. I’ve never been a person to talk about my anxiety and occasional depression, and this blog helped me to confront my pain. That was world changing. 

Although I am a little sad for the semester to be over, and for this blog to come to an end, I am glad to have a little break. I get to spend Christmas with my family, and my friends are all coming home. I’m not sure if I am going to keep blogging. I may make it a monthly habit, but we will see what happens. I’ve learned a lot this semester. I’ve struggled. I’ve overcome. I wouldn’t change that for the world. My time in college is flying by. I feel like I just graduated high school, and I need to make sure i’m soaking it all in. Especially cherishing the time I have with the people I love, and appreciating the time I have to be young.. even though sometimes I feel like a grown ass adult. 

Thanks for reading my rambles!

Song of the week: Mistletoe by Justin Bieber

It’s Full and Round and White All Over

So Thanksgiving this year has come and gone very quickly, but don’t think for a second that I missed a beat. Or I guess you could say, a treat.

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Me too, Joey. Me too.

I have always loved food. If you haven’t already been able to tell by my blogs (It’s Long and Leafy and Green All Over and WTF: Where’s the Food?). But for some reason I have always over stuffed myself the majority of the time when I eat. Which then would produce a food baby! Which i’d always show to my parents or friends, and laugh about how far along I was.

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Well my aunt was in town from Florida a few weeks ago, and after we had eaten dinner I joked about having a food baby. She let out a big laugh, and said, “What is a food baby??”. So I then explained to her:

“After a very large meal, when your stomach bulges a little with food, and you can kinda pretend you’re pregnant, but the baby inside is only actually food.”

-Urban Dictionary (sleepnix)

She had never even heard the term (which I thought was crazy), but maybe it’s a term used by people more my age. So I decided to do a little digging about food babies. Not even knowing what I was looking for, or what the point even was.

Gastroenterologist Ed Levine, M.D. in What Is a Food Baby talks about how the stomach muscles can start to stretch if you over eat. Typically people eat about 1 to 1.5 liters each meal, but if you were to eat 2 liters per meal each day, your stomach is going to start getting used to the stretching. This can cause people to have to eat more to feel full. This ALSO explaining how i’m getting so fat.

This article also talks about the different foods that are harder for your stomach to break down, and the bad health affects food babies can have on people. This article is bacon my heart, but it’s not going to stop me from eating.

I also found an article on Bustle, The 6 Emotional Stages of Having A Food BabyTheir list of 6 emotional stages include:

Pain

“About 20 minutes after you stop eating, it’s going to hurt.”

Mirth

“But it’s not until you pull your shirt up to reveal the bloated state of your belly that you’ll get the real laughs.”

Attachment

“Because of all the pain you’ve had to go through for your Food Baby, and because of all the joy it’s bought you, you will begin to grow attached to the lump of digesting food that’s slowly turning into poop inside you.”

Fear

“You know what’s coming soon: The birth.”

Regret

“By now, you’re also so scared of what’s to come in the game of porcelain thrones that you’ll wish you never started this food pregnancy in the first place.”

Pain

“That Food Baby is now shredding through your insides, and coming up for air. Godspeed.”

This article is completely accurate. Don’t even try to say it’s not.

So I think i’ve come to the conclusion that food babies are actually pretty bad for you. If you’re eating too much so that your belly looks 7 months pregnant, that’s probably not healthy. Although this does not, at all, whatsoever mean that i’m going to stop giving myself food babies. If it’s a good and tasty meal, i’m gonna eat a lot of it.

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Sorry not sorry. I love Friends.

I know y’all had food babies after Thanksgiving so don’t try and deny it. Don’t be ashamed to get a food baby every once in a while. Just know that it’s not very healthy, and you’re gonna feel like shit after. But that’s OKAY.

Find your inner peas, and embrace the food baby.

“I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam.”

-Popeye the Sailor

Thanks for reading my rambles!

Song of the week: American Pie by Don McLean

Lind Family Thanksgiving 2018: Trip to Norris Lake

For my Thanksgiving break my family took a long weekend trip to Norris Lake. My parents and aunts and uncles have had this planned for a few months now, and I have been so excited. We have never taken a trip with my dad’s side of the family, and I knew it was going to be a blast.

For those who don’t know, my dad’s side of the family is nuts. We are very loud. We always have to be right. We are very gross and gassy. And most of all, we LOVE to drink and eat. So getting together for a trip for Thanksgiving was perfect for us. Oh, and did I mention that we were all staying in the same house?

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This is the view from our huge house.

My parents, my boyfriend Ryan, and I left on Thursday morning, and arrived around noon. We were the first family to get there, but everyone started showing up very shortly after. It didn’t take us long to get aquainted. We first walked through the woods to get to the lake. Hung out, drank a little, and when one of my aunts arrived, she started spaghetti and meatballs. The adults decided to make Thanksgiving dinner on Friday because they knew we wouldn’t get to the lake in time to make the whole dinner on Thursday.

After dinner on Thursday, we all hung out, played pool, and played lots of cards. My aunt taught a few of us how to play the card game 99. Let me tell you, I sort of got addicted. The only thing is that it involves a lot of counting, and it is very fast. I struggled with this. I also got made fun of a lot because of this. Everyone besides my aunts and my mom stayed up until like 3:30 AM that first night. The guys were playing their Bengal’s tailgate playlist while they played pool, and they danced and sang. We made a lot of noise. Oops.

Friday we basically did the same thing. We took another walk on Friday, and drank a lot of beer. The only thing that was really different on Friday was that we had our big Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, ham, green beans, rolls, corn, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, and last but very least cranberries (eww). We also stayed up late that night, but the women stayed up with us. We played 99. My mom got really drunk. It was a gooooood time.

Most days went exactly like this. On Saturday half the family wore their Ohio State gear, and the other half wore Michigan gear. The game was a ass whooping for Michigan.

OHIO!

We tried to play Family Feud, and had my uncle Joe host. He failed because he couldn’t read the questions, and would change the answers and questions. Then we tried to have my dad host, and after a few rounds with him we were done with that. We played the horse racing game, left right center, and of course, more 99.

The one night the guys got so drunk playing pool, that my cousin hit the 9 ball instead of the cue ball. He didn’t even realize it at the time, and a few of the other guys saw what he did. They called him out on it, and being the typical Lind he is, he refused to admit that he accidentally hit the 9 ball instead of the cue ball. Us girls just sat on the couch and laughed. He actually yelled at me “Hey Rachel! Are you gonna blog about this?!?”. So I decided I HAD to blog about it. Some quotes from that night include:

“Just admit you hit the 9 ball you jack ass!”

“It smells so bad it sticks to your tongue!”

“I think I just brushed my teeth with it!”

“It smells like a sack of assholes!”

Oh yeah, and the Bengal’s lost on Sunday… to the Brown’s. LOL!

On our last night being there, we chilled and packed up as much stuff as we could. I drank a lot of wine, and was feeling really good. We all watched a movie. Well we tried, but most of us fell asleep. After the movie, I went to sleep, and in the morning we packed up and went home.

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Now i’m sitting back in class, and very sad. This trip will go down as one of my favorite. The view and weather were great. The trip was so fun, and i’m exhausted, but that’s how it should be. I don’t really know where I was going with this, but after all, this blog is titled “Rambles with Rachel”. I was just really in need for a break from school, work, and life, and I got that.

I guess i’m just really thankful for my family, and for this trip. It was a blast.

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Thanks for reading my rambles!

Song of the week: Buckeye Battle Cry by THE Ohio State University Marching Band

What I’m Thankful for in the National Month of Gratitude

November is the national month of gratitude. I was trying to fall asleep one night, saying my nightly prayers, and I realized that there is so much for me to be thankful for. So this post is going to be about a few things/people I am thankful for. Particularly in the last week or so.

Good Friends

First of all, this past Friday one of my best friends, Erin, and I took the day to shop. We drove to Rockwood, and spent almost the whole day shopping. After shopping all day, we went to dinner and a movie with another of my best friends, Bella. We all drove together, which is always fun. We went to one of our favorite places, Chik-fil-A, and then to the movies to see A Star is Born. By the way, the movies was great, but take tissues with you.

This Friday, me and my friends Bella, Jack, Annie, Erin and Ryan all went to get dinner and a movie. After dinner we decided to walk down the street to this local coffee shop, and low and behold, our other friend Erin who goes away to school was there. I yelled, “What the hell?!?”, ran to hug her, and made a scene. Oops. By the way again, we saw Bohemian Rhapsody, and it was AMAZINGGGGGG!!!

Moral of the story, sometimes I can get really down when I don’t see my friends very often. Being with my friends always puts me in a better mood and mindframe. I am thankful to have them in my life.

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Front seat is Erin. Back seat is Bella. Obviously this is an old picture. We didn’t go shopping dressed up like this.

My Mommy

On Sunday my mom and I went shopping before I worked later that night. I am super thankful for these times with my mom. My mom is my best friend, and we can talk about absolutely anything. We love to shop together, and always love a good chat. It’s not always easy for my mom and i’s relationship, but in the end she will always be my best friend.

Since I became an adult and started college our schedules are typically completely different so times like Sunday when we can just shop and talk are always fun for me. I am extremely thankful for the relationship I have with my mom.

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Super old pic, but such a goodie. Pretty sure we were going shopping here too.

A Steady Job

I’ve had the same job since I was 17 so i’ve been there about 2 and a half years. Believe it or not, I am pretty thankful for this job. For the most part, I love the people I work with, and I am friends with a lot of them. One of my best friends Erin, who I meantioned earlier, actually started working with me a little after I started, and now we are super close.

It’s also been a huge teaching lesson for me. My parents wanted me to get a job when I was 15 and a half. I’ve basically had a job since then, and I am thankful for that. It has really taught me to be a money conscious person. I try really hard to save my money, and I am a major clearance/sale shopper. So yeah working 20-25 hours a week and going to school full time really sucks, but in the end i’m glad I have always had a steady job.

My Boyfriend

This past Monday I had to take my car to get one of the tires checked out, and my boyfriend Ryan came to pick me up while my car was in the shop. We ended up going to one of our favorite places to eat, First Watch. Which, by the way, was delicious like always. Then the rest of the day we just hung out at his house. We watched a documentary thing on Netflix about the military’s Medal of Honor, and I somehow convinced him to watch a romance, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.

It honestly was just a good day to just sit on the couch all day, and not have any worries. Ryan brings this out in me all of the time. As someone who is worried and anxious all of the time, Ryan does great at getting those bad feelings to go away. He has been my rock since we started dating 4 years ago, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

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Also old, but I wanted people to get pictures to faces.

The Little Things

I don’t always realize the little things in life that I should be thankful for.

Like my brother and I went to lunch today, and he bought my lunch. Seeing my dogs every day is always something I am thankful for. Getting to see my neighbors horses stick their heads out at me every day always makes me smile. Seeing my friends, and singing (or screaming) at the top of our lungs in the car. I’m also always thankful for food.

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And of course I am always thankful for music. Christian music, country music, Francesca Battistelli, and Taylor Swift especially. Somedays it just feels so good to drive around in my car and sing and listen to my music. Music speaks to me, and I am beyond thankful to have it in my life.

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I miss this.

Shoutout to my friends and family. I am always thankful for y’all. Can’t wait to get away for a few days next week for Thanksgiving. I hope that people can read this, and think about what they are thankful for too. Happy early Thanksgiving. Tell the people you love, that you love them!

Thanks for reading my rambles!

Song of the week: This by Darius Rucker